I was recently in a production that required me to dance in front of people and it was, at times, a frightening experience. There were multiple moments of anxiety when I thought I might die if anyone I knew saw me dancing. In fact when I knew friends were watching me I had so much anxiety I almost didn't perform at all. In reality, I wasn't the best, but I wasn't the worst. I just lacked self-confidence.
There is a fine line between confidence and conceitedness, but confidence is essential to charm. Everyone should realize that they are capable of great things and they have the power to positively change others' lives. Confidence is magnetic and people are attracted to it. Conceitedness, however, is basically people repellant. For example, wearing makeup and doing pretty hairstyles are art forms and they can be fun, but if for some reason I don't have time to make them happen, I have the confidence to go through the day knowing that I have what it takes to reach my goals. This is because confidence means focusing on the positive things that are present instead of focusing on the things that are going wrong. Yeah I may not look picture perfect, but I am still poised, intelligent, caring, honest, etc.
As a confidence building exercise I think it is important for people to mentally note all of their positive qualities that are not likely to change. For example, "I can make people laugh. I am motivated. I have compassion for others. I am a hard-worker." Notice I didn't say, "I wish I was skinnier. I wish I had more money. I wish I didn't have to study. I wish I was as beautiful as someone else."Focus on the tangible characteristics you have and play them up!
Finally, realize that many of these endearing characteristics have the power to affect other people and in the end that's what it's all about. If you wake up looking less than perfect one day but use that day to change someone's life...accept that victory!
XOXO,
E
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